My testimony of personal revelation has grown this week. Here´s what I wrote in my journal on the 27th:
So, we have our new investigators tomorrow, and we had to prepare. Hermana Pavon wanted us to find a BOM verse for it, so I prayed to know where to begin my search and to find materials to help Lucia, who's mad at God for her miscarriages. I went to the Index...Bible Dictionary...nothing. Then I thought of General Conference. Never before had I used General Conference to find a scripture. It was everything I needed and more. God Shall Wipe Away All Tears was WRITTEN for Lucia. It truly was revelation. It´s crazy how normal and accessible revelation is. I always just imagined like prophets...you know? We all have access to personal revelation and it´s so wonderful.
You know what? I´m just going to write all of my spiritual experiences directly from my journal so I don't waste time.
28th:
We taught Lucia today and it did NOT go as planned. The only thing we used from our prep was the story of Paul and the thorn. What was super cool was that when Hermana Monroy was talking, all I could think about was how perfect she could relate. Then, once she finished, Hermana Harper was all: Hay un apóstol se llama...uh...Pedro. Me: Pablo? Her: OH, Pablo. But like I knew in that moment that she received the same revelation as me at the same time. Like, I was already opening to my bookmark and I took over from there. Super neat.
29th:
We watched the Restoration today, and by the end almost 90% of the Hermanas in the CCM were in tears. Including me of course. It strengthens my testimony of Joseph Smith every time I watch it.
Kind of a cool moment: last night while Hermana Dayes was braiding my hair, we were talking about deep doctrine. We talked about how there are a ton of planets, yet there´s only one Christ and he came to ours. He came here to repent for every world´s sins. Because our world has the most wickedness, but there´s opposition in all things. And today in Devo they talked about it!!!! The speaker even added on how that´s why we had Michael, Gabriel, Peter/James/John, and Joseph Smith PLUS Christ to balance the wickedness. Plus, a neat scripture: D&C 135:3. It was just crazy how an obscure topic was built upon for us in less than 24 hours. Plus, it just added even more "mad respect for Joseph Smith" (as Hermana Harper put it)
31st:
Today was a perfect day. Last night I decided to pray with a question. I always pray for help, but never with questions. Except for when I prayed to know if the BOM was true, but that's really it. I had read yesterday, ´´Ask and ye shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you.´´ I knew I was going to the temple on Pday so I prayed that when I went, I would know if I was good enough. I was feeling so inadequate. And I know those feelings come from Satan, but I was just looking at all of the Hermanas and seeing their strengths. How was I supposed to be good enough to preach about a perfect gospel and a perfect love?
My answer came faster than I thought. It came today. We prepared to teach the Restoration and we started by asking Lucia if she had prayed to see if our lesson about how God loves her is true. She said no. From that point, our whole lesson plan was out the window. We talked about prayer the entire lesson. It was incredible. We listened, we answered her questions, Hermana found a scripture, everything. Afterwards, Hermana Monroy asked us how we though it went and she asked to see our lesson plan because we didn´t read ANYTHING off paper. We had never done that before. We told her how we listened, followed the spirit, and taught people not lessons. She didn't need the Restoration, she needed prayer. She even told us that our lesson will inspire Lucia to pray and "
su lección fue perfecto." Perfect. I was a part of teaching a lesson that portrayed the perfect concept of prayer. We moved tables and sat in awe of the power of the Holy Ghost. We felt so much gratitude that we prayed. I started to cry because then, ten minutes after our lesson, the Spirit put into my remembrance my prayer and my question from last night. I'm not inadequate. I can do this. With the Spirit, I can do my best to preach about His perfect love.
(Side note, I know that if we work hard and prepare, that the Lord will make up the rest when we attempt and fail to completely capture His perfect love. I just didn't have a testimony of it. My comp is so good at teaching and testifying, and I felt like I wasn't as good as her. I couldn’t testify with the strength she has. That's why I prayed with my questions of inadequacy.)
This week has been super spiritual, if you can´t tell. And we get to go to the Mexico City temple today!!!!! That´s why I am emailing so early - we are leaving at 12 and not getting back until 6. I will have pictures of the temple next week!
So here in the CCM, I've goofed up a lot. There's always one thing a day. I don´t have time to share all of them, so I will leave you with just one:
"We taught Anastacia today and I messed up. We were talking about prayer so I asked if I could share a scripture in the BOM. I then went on with my whole intro of the BOM and then it was time to read the verse. And that's when I realized the verse I wanted to read was in the Bible. Me: ´"
Uh....um....los siento. Actualmente está en la Biblía, PERO leemos en los dos, la Biblía y en el Libro de Mormón."
Classic Hermana Tonini. Love and miss you all.
Hermana Tonini